Please God No

For the PDF version that is even better with side notes, NorthBranchVetSucks.pdf I'm so glad that the North Branch Veterinary Hospital found a company like Lexsynergy. Lexsynergy and more specific "Lexsynergy : Brand protection services" really have no idea what they are doing.
Let me take you back... a year or so ago, a user of ours posted this online review of their experience at the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.
Well, North Branch Veterinary Hospital was not too fond of this review because they thought that exposing their business practices on the internet might be bad for their business.
After some futile attempts to have the First Amendment right of free speech and subsequently the user's post removed from the site they pressed on.
With great effort and (I can only assume) great expense they hired an online reputation business. The company is located in London and is called "Lexsynergy". They claim that by whatever means legal (or not), they will repair legitimate negative reviews on the internet in exchange for cash.
Lexsynergy and more specifically Lexsynergy : brand protection services, shoots out form letters to the people that host websites for people like me who maintain small no-profit blog websites..
What Lexsynergy and more importantly the North Branch Veterinary Hospital should have both known, is that when you scam people and rip them off, your reputation on the internet will be sullied.
I am glad that the money that our poster posted to our website went directly to Lexsynergy, which; with this post, will probably further damage their reputation... Maybe they could have settled on a fair payment with the customer in the first place or try to make it right if there was a disagreement. What an idea!
So where to start? Well let's first say that a copyrighted image was "stolen" from their website... Copyright! That will get them! Click here for a story on over 500 websites use the EXACT SAME IMAGE AS THEM, and is free for download off of common license sites like photobucket, etc.
Scary!
They also stated that a photo of a man having sex with another man on a review of their services might hurt CHILDREN! WHAA! NOT THE CHILDREN!!! Give me a break. Who the fuck is looking up "North Branch Veterinary Hospital" except people that live in the area? NO ONE! I can only imagine a high school student doing a report on the North Branch Veterinary Hospital and vomiting all over the computer screen seeing a man pleasuring another man. Your demographic is not 8 year olds. 8 year olds would be looking at Barney and Dora the explorer, not the rates for castration of their pets, nitwits!
After the letter (to be nice), I replaced their "copyrighted" image with a nice drawing of a dog with a huge boner -----> and also replaced the picture of two men in a consensual relationship with a drawing of a dog with a huge boner raping a man... ------> But that was not enough.
The next day I received notice that someone (namely Lexsynergy or North Branch Veterinary Hospital), wrote me to claim that I was offending people by posting their name next to photos of dead dogs being sold for meat in different countries with the reference that I might trust these people more than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.
This is where it stops.
It has come to light that even the President of the United States was fed dog in his diet growing up.
The pictures I posted were open-source common license photos of dog meat markets all around the world. Guess what bitches? You do not own these pictures, Wikipedia common license owns most! It's from a Wikipedia article dipshits. How dare you attack me for inappropriate pictures for information your kid can get from a Encyclopedia? Fuck the North Branch Veterinary Hospital and fuck you, Lexsynergy : Brand protection services. As a business, sometimes you have to accept the responsibility for ripping someone off. Once in a while you have to take your lumps and learn from it. I'm sorry our user thought your "hospital" and I would use HUGE quotes around that if I could, scalps dog fixes like a used car dealership, but it is not the end user's fault, it is yours!
If you provide bad service, say you're sorry and make it right! Don't hire an offshore agency that promises to fix your reputation... After all, it is a lot easier to maintain a bridge than to build a new one, and this bridge has gone from crumbling to collapsed.
As for Lexsynergy : Brand protection services, here is one of the single most unprofessional letters we have ever received. We hope you didn't pay too much for their services... at least hopefully less than $500, the amount you ripped the user off. Please find exhibit A, the letter with highlights and makups and stickynote posts (in PDF format) so you can see for yourself what you paid for, an unprofessional, ambiguous, and poorly-written demand to my ISP.

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I would trust this South Korean street vendor more than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.













I would rather leave my dog in this meat vendor's pan in China.














This guy selling on the street in the Philippines is a better alternative than North Branch Veterinary Hospital.












North Branch Veterinary Hospital is less likely to take proper care of my dog than this rabid mut.












This woman in Hanoi probably has more compassion and respect for animals than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.











Hell, this guy can watch my dog before I would ever trust her care to the folks at the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.


Here is an actual review (not my own) directly from Yelp (the only review on the site).

"I was VERY disappointed with this clinic. I couldn't have been treated worse. I had a Doberman who had retired from the show ring. So he wasn't a young pup anymore. On a Saturday evening I took him for a walk. He was strong. By Sunday morning he was showing signs of hip problems. By the afternoon he was paralyzed from the hips down. I called this "clinic" and was called back by the vet on call. He said it was probably just constipation. He continued to get worse and he was in pain. I called back and the same vet returned my call, he said again it was probably just constipation. He said bring my dog in the next day. Nikko got worse throughout the night until he would scream in pain if you just touched him. He was completely paralyzed except for his left front leg and head. The next day, Monday morning, I called again, I was told to bring him in. I told them he was in excruciating pain. They told me to wrap him in a blanket and carry him in. I got him down there and into the clinic they immediately diagnosed warblers disease. No kidding I had told the "doctor" the night before that it was warblers, he said no it was constipation. They put Nikko down. I knew they would have to. One of the vet techs rolled her eyes and actually said, "it's only a dog." Other vets would have come out to put him down. This clinic is horrible."

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Terry Steindel, are you serious? I don't mean to pick on this guy but check out his latest website. He has the language skills of a 4 year old child immigrant. Dude, if you know you are completely terrible with words and the English language, call ME! I will help you with your proof reading. Oh my God, what a complete idiot. Terry.... Who is advising you? Your sentences are similar to a dog smearing it's ass across the carpet and then licking it up. "YOU, sir... Are un-American!" Click here to look at this idiot's latest website. I've highlighted some mistakes I've found. Can you find more?

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Just wanted to give a big shoutout to my local Applebees. Their drinks suck. I sent a salt filled "margarita" back the other day and they told me that I shouldn't have asked for salt. WTF? Everyone enjoys a little salt on the rim of their margarita but I didn't ask for Lot's wife to fall into my glass.
Disgustingly weak and overpriced drinks, and semi-edible food.
"One and a half ounces of Tequila is all we can legally put in a drink... Bullshit...
When they are not busy serving infants Tequila by mistake they are harassing legal drinking-age folks from getting a good drink.
Everything that comes out of your fryer tastes the same.
Every drink that comes out of your bar tastes like piss.
Fuck you Applebees.

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Ok... So maybe the tickets were free.
I don't normally spend my time talking or thinking about psychics or their proclaimed abilities, but last night I saw a guy that really takes home the "Gay Psychic Pissflap Award".
This fucking retarded pickle-kissing ass ramming shithead actually stood there with a straight face and told mothers that had lost their sons and people that were addicted to drugs, that they had evil "drug" or "suicide" spirits in them. "Do you feel your face getting warm, DO YOU FEEL YOUR FACE GETTING WARM? That's the spirits leaving your bodies. Now snap they're gone. Do you feel that? The warmness in your feet? Huh? Now you're better"... "Seriously ass monkey?", I thought to myself. "Seriously?"
Oh but it got better. This Mushroom-haired waterhead gave people advice... Like REAL advice, on things that he should NEVER be giving advice on. Topics like "I have a feeling my x will kill me". Guess what you precocious prick. We have a thing called "Law Enforcement", and we pay for them with our taxes. You actually agreed with her after she said "I feel like my X is going to kill me" with the statement, "Oh yeah he will".
People came to the microphone crying having just lost a loved one to suicide. He "helped" them by talking about chariots and "angels that swore" taking their loved ones to heaven because "he" had helped.
I guess this crook has some kind of 'in' with the big guy upstairs. After all; if there is a God, I am sure he picked a huge white afro wig-wearing, delusional, money-gubbing, potty-mouthed perverted asshole to do his bidding.
It would be one thing if he told people he was an entertainer, and nothing more... If he was even a half-ass good entertainer.
Unbearable. I met a lady in the hallway that stated, "Can you believe how horrible this is?"

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Ok boys and girls... New mission. I want to collect all of the shitty toilet shots from your stool.
We need to collect your people droppings in digital format.
I want to know A) The country you are from B) Your profession, and C) Any special diet you are on and / or if you have a specific diet / intake preference.
Please send all photos to foxisevil@gmail.com and share your shit! Every poop counts. Please "pass on" your photos and we will give you credit.
With nearly 50,000 visitors per month, I think this mostly scientific study will be a "gas" to the medical community!
POOP ON!!!!
TK (Admin)

Congratulation to our first poo-poster! Amanda from NSW, Australia. She mostly eats grains and nuts and spends a lot of her time base jumping!!! Rock on, Amanda, thank you!












12-31-09 2:11 AM CST - Jim, from New Jersey, is a strong, proud, 30 year old pipe layer from New Jersey that enjoys vendor hot dogs and Wendy's... Thanks Jim for the quick response!

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Shocking photos of Rick Sanchez were released Saturday night via the AP. The newly unsurfaced photos show the untouched photos of Sanchez holding a young Elian Gonzalez at gun point.
"I may call people a bigot, and I may accuse the Jews of running CNN, but at least I'm not too much of a Cuban to point a loaded semi-automatic gun at a Cuban's infant's skull", proclaimed Sanchez during a phone interview Sunday morning.
Sanchez, a CNN hero for his bi-lingual reporting and his no nonsense style of journalism continued, "All Jews and Heebs and Whops and niggers should leave me alone. I've done my part for my country, and they should do their part. Take one of your own and point a rifle at it's head. It is so exhilarating."
Sanchez, recently fired from his long standing role as the afternoon anchorman at the internationally syndicated CNN apologized to his wife and kids during this interview.
"I am sorry that bigot Jon Stewart got me fired. I'm sorry all of those Jews had me crucified, just like Christ."
"Who else can cover a Mexican standoff like I can? I can translate instantly to Americans the English version of a hostage standoff. Statistics have shown that I can say 'there I shot her' in less than two seconds after the hostage taker has actually killed the hostage on live TV. Who are they going to replace me with? Cheech Marin?"
Sanchez will be missed.

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Update 4-17-2012 - Due to a threatening letter (see below), I have been forced to redo the artwork for this post. I think most will find them more tasteful. By the way, these are photos are fully protected by international copyright, so don't try to use them on your site, North Branch Veterinary Clinic!
My Dog wasn't feeling well, so I waited over the weekend to schedule an appointment with the local vet... I scheduled early and made a definitive time to bring her in.
She was feeling much better when we arrived but the doctor asked me if it was ok to do an X-ray, blood test, etc...
Of course, I could spend one or two hundred dollars on my old dog...
I checked out of North Branch Veterinary clinic one hour later with a dog who was pretty much the same and a bill for $420!!!!! What the fuck? Nobody ever told me that bringing my dog in for a routine examination would cost half a grand! She is 15 years old and I made it very clear to him that I didn't want to do anything heroic.. How the hell could I drop half a grand on a dog I cared (at the most) $100 about?
They ripped me off... they ran a bunch of tests that were neither asked or approved for. I am sure when they buy their new boats for their cabins they feel really good but $500 is a LOT of money for a 30 minute diagnosis.
To add insult to injury, he gave me an estimate for another $1000 worth of "exploratory surgery".
What a crock and what a bunch of money grubbing-thief assholes.... Don't EVER take your dog here. They will rack up a HUGE bill and will not let you leave until you pay it.
Fuck you North Branch Veterinary. Lick my hairy ass. If I had dealt with you before I wouldn't have been ripped off by your overcharging asshole antics.
Here is an illustration of what it felt like to give these crooks my hard-earned money.
Follow up by chiree@northbranchvet.com

"I would like to have the review that was posted on Aug 24th about North Branch Veterinary Hosp. removed from this sight (sic). The post has a very sexually inappropriate picture and is extremely graphic."

Update 4-17-12
Tsk, tsk... Someone doesn't like a bad review...


Since they claim copyright and exclusivity to the picture of the dog with the stethoscope, I did a little searching - and wouldn't you know it, there are a lot of places that are using their copyrighted image!
Here's some :
http://www.arkanimalhospitalinpace.com/
http://www.standalevet.com/
http://www.tustinsantaanaveterinaryhospital.com/
http://www.goldcanyonvet.com/
http://www.petsfirstvet.com/
http://www.coopervet.com/
http://www.eltorovet.com/
and more than 550 more sites... As far as the indecent image... There is a lot worse things than that on the internet. So not only did the North Branch Veterinary Hospital offer me horrible service, now their litigious for negative reviews? Click above to read the complaint... Which is a little hard to take seriously since it seems so unprofessional including various misspellings.

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Gees, there are so many ways we could have titled this entry.... I guess we did what the first glass of wine told us to do.
In this day in age of tired gay rhetoric an nothing original coming out of the GLBT community, we were happy this week to hear that our gay steward(ess) pulled the most fantastic drama-filled gay prank this week by opening up the emergency door, deploying the raft slide, grabbing two beers, and singing "wheee!" as he left his career and his brothers behind him.
As this story develops, we will certainly keep tabs on what this gay maverick renegade is up to. But for the time being, we here at Please God No would like to say, "FAAAABBBUUULLLOOOOUUUSSSSS!!" Way to go Steve!

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My Edge Pro - Total ripoff? Simply put, if this ends up on the first page of your local search engine, then yes, it does suck. I am so sick of their stupid commercials claiming they can make your bad reputation good again by burying it with positive information I just had to try. On their website here they claim to "Protect your good name online".
I am always leery of businesses like this. I just wanted to see if I could sully their "reputation". Hi Guys.

Update - After one day - Reputation Defender knocked me off page one of Google. hmmm, maybe they have found a way to game the system.

Wpate 7-8-10 = also again one page one of google. Fifth or Sixth result.... Suck it rip-off scam artists!

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Hi Kids, have you ever tried the choking game? It is neat and sweeping the nation. All you have to do is take some deep breaths and then cut off your air supply. It is so much FUN and will either thrill you or put you on an autopsy table.
So here's the how to:

1st - Take several deep breaths in and out (10-15 is recommended) and then have a friend strangle you. See picture.
2nd - Enjoy the ride... You will either experience a great euphoria or a horrible but euphoric death... Either way, you win!
3rd - Hide the corpse of the friend you just killed. Find a location at least 2 miles from your house. I know an eighty pound kid is hard to carry to consider making the pieces smaller by using a hacksaw that can easily be obtained from you father or step-father's toolbox. After the corpse has been sliced into pieces, take it as far away from the scene as possible. It is also a good idea to chop your friend up in a remote location. If you need to

borrow

your parents car feel free. Make sure to wrap the body tightly as not to leave forensic evidence behind. If you have a deep lake or an ocean nearby all the better!
4th - Create an alibi, make sure your friends can vouch for you presence during the time of the accident. Come to your friend's house as close to the incident as you can and convince them you were stuck in traffic. DO NOT tell anyone about your choking game mishap.
5th - LIE to police
This second part is for parents if you find your child unconscious. Here is what to do.
If you actually are in love with your little brat follow this diagram. If you don't, pick them up off of the floor and choke them some more, just to make sure they are out of the picture.
If for some unknown reason you wish to resuscitate your child, please your hands (in a fist) into their sternum and pull hard enough to help but not hard enough to crack their ribs shattering rib fragments into their supple lung tissue.
The Choking Game is an institution. One that should be carried on for decades by our children and our children's children's. I hope I have provided enough information to make your next choking game a fun and entertaining experience.

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I got a free "Onkyo Sucks Gadget" in the mail with my latest Newegg order for a new home receiver.
It was a "free" Ipod Dock that came with my new receiver.
Guess what, unlike 90% of the other losers in America I don't give a shit about how "cool" something may seem to be and I don't own an Ipod.
So I sold it... And I got a decent price, even if it was lower than the last 20 auctions that it had gone for.. I was stoked for the $70. because it was free!
So I listed it and sold it for $70, and eagerly spent my plunders on useless items such as bills.
Anyway, here is what ensued....

"You recently listed the following listing:

************** - NIB Onkyo UP-A1 Dock for iPod/iPhone sealed


The listing was removed because it violated eBay policy.


The rights owner or an agent authorized to act on behalf of the rights owner, Onkyo USA Corporation, notified eBay that this listing violates intellectual property rights. When eBay receives a report of this type of violation, we remove the listing to comply with the law.





We received a request from VeRO member Onkyo USA Corporation asking us to remove the item for:

- Listing(s) uses unlawful copy of copyrighted image and text.

For more information on why your item was removed, you should:
- Contact the VeRO member directly at Notifications@NetEnforcers.com with your questions or concerns.
- Wait 7 days for the VeRO member to reply to you. Please know that VeRO participants aren?t obligated to reply to your email
- If you don?t receive a response from the VeRO member, please contact eBay by simply replying to this email.

Members are not allowed to use images or text from another member's listings without that member's permission. Doing so may violate copyright laws.

In addition, text and images used on another website may be protected by copyright law. You should not copy and use text and images from another website without first getting permission to use that content. We encourage members to write their own item descriptions and take their own photographs.

If you have any more questions, chat with one of our policy
experts any time from 6:00 AM to 11:00 PM MST. Get started by clicking
the link below."

Ok , This thing's already out of the door, but how uncool? I wrote Onkyo a kind note,


"I don't care because this sold already, but is selling a product you manufactured copyright infringement? Give me a break. What exactly did I do? Did not getting express written permission from Onkyo to list a Onkyo product on Ebay and describe it? What a crock. You've just lost hundreds if not thousands of dollars of future purchases from me. I have owned three of your receivers and will never recommend them to anyone who asks ever again, all because you feel like I violated your rights by selling something you manufactured. Sorry I sold it for less than you do. I didn't want it!
Please tell me exactly what I did? Copyrighted image? NO! Copyrighted text? Give me a break.. did I describe it too accurately?
Shame on you guys. VeRO is a complete joke. I am sure Ebay doesn't even punish you guys for falsely taking down people's posts. I read an article saying it's happened only once http://www.tabberone.com/Trademarks/Vero/vero.shtml
and what's up with this?

"One study claims that up to 30% of VeRO-terminated auctions are bogus or questionable. 5% should be considered to be unconscionable but the eBay lawyers who conducted the VeRO seminar in Las Vegas at eBay Live in 2006 contended that there very few VeRO abuses. They pointedly avoided directly answering questions about how eBay was going to stop these "few abuses" while insisting they did not exist."

Disgusted Client...

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The new sandwich unveiled by Kentucky Fried Chicken this week was best described as "Fatty", "Caloric", and "Yummy" by several participants this week.
"This is the sandwich to end all sandwiches", stated a 420 lb worker at KFC. "It puts together my 4 favorite ingredients... Fried chicken, cheese, mayo, and bacon"!
I have personally tried this sandwich and I will admit that (while sinfully delicious), this sandwich can not be good for your overall health. This sandwich was very filling and filled with slaughtered animals from every species, but lacked the mild taste of bear and goat.

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The full back-and-forth of Tiger Woods conversation with porn star Joslyn James were released tonight after a horrific day of Tiger news. The transcript follows...

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Joslyn: Sent: 05:48 PM 07/30/2009:
You mean, the intercourse???

Tiger:Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Joslyn: Sent: 05:55 PM 07/30/2009:
Close enough to touch your penis and bake a casserole!

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Joslyn: Sent: 06:10 PM 07/30/2009:
I am a famous trashy whore, everyone sees me!!!

Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:20 PM 07/30/2009:
I have to get up at 4:20....

Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down

Joslyn: Sent: 07:48 PM 07/30/2009:
Sorry I was knitting and forgot to come down... Sorry... When I knit, I get all distracted...

Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow

Joslyn: Sent: 10:48 PM 07/30/2009:
When the taxi company calls me.. You see, they said, they would call me. Weird huh. They must be busy and junk. Are your nuts still stapled to the wall?

Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes

Joslyn: Sent: 01:22 AM 07/31/2009:
I will come pry them off (again) sigh

Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open

Joslyn: Sent: 01:48 AM 07/31/2009:
Sorry Tiger, Every time we staple your nuts to the headboard of a hotel room, I lose my pliers. It's like; at this point you sho

Joslyn: Sent: 01:48 AM 07/31/2009:
uld carry around your own pliers. Unfasten your own nutsack from the bed!

Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back

Joslyn: Sent: 02:48 AM 07/31/2009:
I unfastened your nuts from the headboard, why do you care, you've had plenty of time to figure it out.

Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Joslyn: Sent: 03:59 PM 07/31/2009:
I can't leave because I am still chained to the bed upstairs. Remember? Wash your stinky ball-stapled ass off. Make sure to wash good.

Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Joslyn: Sent: 04:20 PM 07/31/2009:
I am chained to the bed dumbass!!!

Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

Joslyn: Sent: 04:25 PM 07/31/2009:
Please refer to last txt about being chained to bed.

Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out


Joslyn: Sent: 05:15 PM 07/31/2009:
I had sex with 5 guys since your last txt.... One of them peed on me. Is that cool?

Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

Joslyn: Sent: 07:15 PM 07/31/2009:
I love stapling your nuts to things a lot!

Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy

Joslyn: Sent: 06:31 AM 08/06/2009:
Are you still jerking off?

Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing

Joslyn: Sent: 06:39 AM 08/06/2009:
With your penis?

Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks

Joslyn: Sent: 06:39 AM 08/09/2009:
Two weeks? When will you be done masturbating??

Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month

Joslyn: Sent: 06:42 AM 08/09/2009:
Will it take you another month to stop playing with yourself???

Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can't talk now. Will text when i can

Joslyn: Sent: 02:42 PM 08/13/2009:
I wish your nuts didn't taste like dirty socks

Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to

Joslyn: Sent: 10:12 AM 08/20/2009:
Not everyone's penis smells like a dirty sock. Trust me...

Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since

Joslyn: Sent: 10:30 AM 08/23/2009:
I just got gang-banged by a midget in a cowboy suit while he was peeing on me...

Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so

Joslyn: Sent: 10:30 AM 08/23/2009:
The midget made me think about you... Totally....

Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me

Joslyn: Sent: 10:55 AM 08/23/2009:
Midgets arent really cheating, because their little bodies have no soul... Just like retards and people with Downs Syndrome.

Joslyn: Sent: 10:00 PM 08/23/2009:
Did you think about what I said earlier today?

Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree

*****MORE TO COME******

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