Please God No

Conan's last night was a noisy and reckless absurdity, reports a lucky insider that was inside Conan's Universal lot watching the last show Conan O'Brien is hosting.
"Conan then took out the Skull of Meat loaf and played it like a French Horn!!!!"
After reports of verified accounts recounting Conan "Fucking an audience member in the ear", and "Peeing on all of NBC's electrical equipment", our sources both verified that Conan calmed down.
"Wow, I expected a little more resistance from (Jeff) Zucker. I didn't even think he'd let me spray frothy urine into his wive's face... Weird..." stated O"Brien.