May
5
Ounce for ounce, there is no other substance on the face of the Earth that will more consistently produce as many hours of unabated flatulence than Kashi GoLEAN Crunch. If you have never had a bowl of Kashi GoLEAN cereal, trust me, go get a box. Eat a big bowl right before work or church or parent-teacher conferences.
It starts for me about 2 - 3 hours after ingestion. I can almost set my watch by it.
The first sign that Kashi is working is a knot-like feeling in the stomach. Kind of like a slip knot. A sharp knot that all the sudden lets go. This is followed 25-30 seconds later by a surprising fart with an unusual amount of mass.
For the next 5 hours, the gas gets so unusually intense and frequent you will barely be able to keep a straight face while doing regular daily activities.
I have been kicked out of supermarkets, gas stations, bars, restaurants, and outdoor soccer games because of my relationship with Kashi.
The only way I could love Kashi GoLEAN crunch more than I already do, is if it tasted edible like most foods do.
But alas; I would toss Al Sharpton's salad if I was guaranteed a 5 hour endless stream of explosive gas.
-----Update 8-14-08-----
I am obviously not alone.
Let's start posting actual recordings of your actual farts here on this thread! Please record your greatest Kashi farts via any means necessary! (Recorder, cell phone, computer mic, etc). I will post them here! It will be a GAS! Please convert your fart sounds into any readable computer format (.wav, .mp3, etc) and email them here.I will "pass" the credit onto the "end" user. Don't be lazy! Record your Kashi farts!!! | Top Exits (0)
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) P.S. don't light any matches near your ass after eating Kashi, afterall methane and hydrogen are explosive. Oh.. looks like the ambulance is here, see yah later!
04/12/2010 04:30:00 AM
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