In an alarming new study released this week, it was reported that 1 in 4 teenagers has a sexually transmitted disease. With only 50% of teenage girls having sex, this literally means half of them are getting an STD.
Using this method of deduction, this also means there are 25% of willing participants that I have not infected with my variety sampler of different and disfiguring diseases.
To all the teenagers that are currently infected, I would like to offer my heartfelt apology... "Sorry, my bad"
To the rest of the girls, I would like to give you my promise, that I am not infected, and would love to show you my parent's basement and my stamp collection.