Please God No

Yes, the "The Rabid Wolverine" is dead. He died exactly as his name implies... like a rabid wolverine.... that strangles it's wife from roid rage.... and then a couple days later kills it's son... and then sits around the house with the bodies... and then strangles itself... exactly the same.
Close friends have reported that Chris was working on a new complex wrestling move that may have gone terribly awry. It was purportedly titled, "The Rabid Benoit Double Chokey Surprise"
As a society, are we really surprised that a 230 lb dude so obviously hopped up on steroids, with the nickname "The Rabid Wolverine" could do something like this? These are the role models we put in place for our children. Nice.
In the coming days I'm sure they'll interview neighbors and family and they'll almost assuredly say things like, "He was a gentle guy who kept to himself", and "He came over and mowed my lawn once when I was out of town", and "He was a volunteer at the animal shelter".
They always like to give 'both sides' of "The Rabid Wolverine". So let's pretend I'm his 7 year old son to give you the 'other side'.

Interviewer : "Did you get along with your Dad? Did you like him?"
Chris Benoit's son : "Kinda, he killed my mom and then killed me and then hung himself."

I think everyone can agree that bulimia is hot.
Never mind the damage to the brain, skin tissues, heart, liver, stomach, blood, intestines, hormones, muscles, and throat.
Hot as shit. I appreciate the effort.
After all, I'm not dragging my fat ass into a bathroom every time I down 3000 calorie meal and then spending the better part of an hour if not not hours uncomfortably squeezing my half-digested food back up my throat like morbid self-serve ice cream.
FUCK THAT.
But fine women of the world unite! It is a well-known fact that dental surgery is WAY less expensive than gastric bypass.
Need information on throwing up?
Doing research for this article I've picked up some great tips...
Some questions :

Dear pleasegodno.com : "i've tried to make myself throw up...about 4 or 5 times.....i just cant seem to do it...i gag alot..and then spit up...i wait to see if i will throw up anything...and nothing happens!...am i doing it wrong?...do i need to eat more before i do it?.......am i waiting too long after i eat?"

Pleasegodno.com There are some girls lucky enough to have a highly-evolved gag reflex. You are not one of them. Wait 20-25 minutes BUT NOT LONGER to toss your filthy Denny's back up your throat. AND DRINK A LOT OF WATER. Water is the key. Keeping your empty, dry stomach well lubricated is very important. Get a long pencil or pen with an eraser on it. That usually does the trick. Be creative and HAVE FUN

Dear pleasegodno.com : "okay so im 14 and around 115 lbs and im 5'6" im nowhere near fat but for some reason i still feel like puking everyyyday! I HATE IT its the worst feeling ever!! ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST STARTING BEING BULIMIC..DONT DO IT!!! IT COMPLETELY RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!! i kno it seems realllly hard to quit but trust me on this one its going to take a part of yourself away."

Pleasegodno.com What kind of WHALE is 14 and 115 pounds? 5'6" ??? My God Shamoo try eating a salad every once in a while.

Dear pleasegodno.com : "please answer my question!!!!! ive been making myself throw up between 1 and 3 times a day for the last 2 months. Am I bulimic??????? please tell me because i dont know.Please.i have to know. Please please please."

..Pleasegodno.com Don't be a retard. You are not bulimic, you are just trying really really really really really hard to be hot.

Dear pleasegodno.com : "Okay seriously, puking sucks. It screws up your throat and teeth and so many other things, and it also smells and sucks to do it (i should know, i just tried and remembered how much i hate it). If you want to get skinnier here is what I recommend. Full out anorexia is really bad for you too.. no protien makes your hair fall out, which sucks, and no vitamins makes you look like shit and not be able to exercise to tone your muscles and look better. Bones with skin hanging off of them isnt hot, skinney with toned muscles however is. "


..Pleasegodno.com Here is what I recommend... STOP EATING LIKE A SPERM WHALE. Nobody will ever love you until you shed some weight.

Dear pleasegodno.com : "hey all, well ive been bulimic for 4 years. it completely ruined me. my face has sunken in, im skinnier than hell, my teeth are rotting and disgusting and today i just found out i cant have children. now ur all probably thinking, well u shouldve just stopped but its not how u think. i started throwing up just to lose a couple pounds from thanksgiving. i only planned on doing it once or twice and then i got addicted....no joke. its a disease. my body's in danger and not only did i go from being a pretty girl to a disgusting wreck, but also, all my friends and family left me. seriously guys, dont do it and if u already have please stop. i dont want you to turn out like me. xoxo best of luck to all of you, Cindy"

..Pleasegodno.com Dear Cindy, can I please get your phone number??? Do you like Anal? What Do you Do 4 fun? I think we'd have fun together, I like watersports too!!!


HOT.

He's back with a full on retard vengeance. It is my old mail-stuffing handicapped friend Terry Steindel.
Please read his whole "sales pitch" carefully.
Would you really even consider buying an ice cream cone from this guy?
How about the single largest purchase of your life?

Just when you thought a crippled getting caught in the front of a Mac truck was funny. Corky's got a brand new band!!!
http://www.chrisburke.org/
scary

I spent the night watching "The Thing". I was watching the credits and I started thinking.
Let's spend the next few days asking your co-workers and friends... "Guess who's still alive?"
They may look at you oddly but your answer will stun them.
"Wilfred Brimley"
This guy has been a diabetic since the Kennedy assassination .