Fiber One = constant flatulence
Step aside Kashi GoLEAN Crunch, and say hello to Fiber One Bars. Never, ever in my entire life, have a dropped as much ass as I do after eating these. I mean, check out the nutrition label, it speaks for itself!
I've done some research and evidently it's the chicory root that causes the gas. I don't know about all that, but I do know that the human body is not designed to do what it does after eating these bars.
Fiber One bars are yummy and chocolaty. Fiber One bars are also snacks that are forged in the depths of hell by Satan himself.
When I think back on the top ten loudest and longest farts of my life, I can honestly say 10 of them happened all at once about 2 hours after eating a Fiber One bar.
I conducted an unscientific test to see if others were affected like I was.
One person told me they farted so loud that they woke them self up in the middle of the night. Another told me that her drug free childbirth was much more comfortable than her brush with the Fiber One bar.
Terry Schiavo would have run out of the room with some of the gas that I've had.
I would be interested in other people's experiences with Fiber One bars. Post them here.
After sending a note to General Mills pointing them to this post, I received an email back from them. At least it's cool they have a sense of humor.
Dear Mr. Farts Alot:
Thank you for contacting General Mills and sharing your humor with us. I shared the website and it gave us a great laugh for the day.
Thank you for using our Fiber One products and have a great day.
Imee B. Roberts
I am obviously not alone.
Let's start posting actual recordings of your actual farts here on this thread! Please record your greatest Fiber One farts via any means necessary! (Recorder, cell phone, computer mic, etc). I will post them here! It will be a GAS! Please convert your fart sounds into any readable computer format (.wav, .mp3, etc) and email them here
I will "pass" the credit onto the "end" user. Don't be lazy! Record your Fiber One farts!!!
Thanks to Andrew for a great Fiber one recording mix. As he states in his letter, "...you've got just about every possible type, the firecracker, the nuke, the deflating balloon, the machine gun...etc."
Truly a great mix of farts. Click here
Also thanks to T-bone Buttstank for their recording. Click here to listen
..And one more Verizon user who stated, "fiber 1 fart, sounds like a fart machine, but this is for real." Click here for this fart.