Please God No

This is why the Lexsynergy : Brand protection services & the North Branch Veterinary Hospital both Rip people off.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:48:23 +0000

For the PDF version that is even better with side notes, NorthBranchVetSucks.pdf I'm so glad that the North Branch Veterinary Hospital found a company like Lexsynergy. Lexsynergy and more specific "Lexsynergy : Brand protection services" really have no idea what they are doing.
Let me take you back... a year or so ago, a user of ours posted this online review of their experience at the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.
Well, North Branch Veterinary Hospital was not too fond of this review because they thought that exposing their business practices on the internet might be bad for their business.
After some futile attempts to have the First Amendment right of free speech and subsequently the user's post removed from the site they pressed on.
With great effort and (I can only assume) great expense they hired an online reputation business. The company is located in London and is called "Lexsynergy". They claim that by whatever means legal (or not), they will repair legitimate negative reviews on the internet in exchange for cash.
Lexsynergy and more specifically Lexsynergy : brand protection services, shoots out form letters to the people that host websites for people like me who maintain small no-profit blog websites..
What Lexsynergy and more importantly the North Branch Veterinary Hospital should have both known, is that when you scam people and rip them off, your reputation on the internet will be sullied.
I am glad that the money that our poster posted to our website went directly to Lexsynergy, which; with this post, will probably further damage their reputation... Maybe they could have settled on a fair payment with the customer in the first place or try to make it right if there was a disagreement. What an idea!
So where to start? Well let's first say that a copyrighted image was "stolen" from their website... Copyright! That will get them! Click here for a story on over 500 websites use the EXACT SAME IMAGE AS THEM, and is free for download off of common license sites like photobucket, etc.
Scary!
They also stated that a photo of a man having sex with another man on a review of their services might hurt CHILDREN! WHAA! NOT THE CHILDREN!!! Give me a break. Who the fuck is looking up "North Branch Veterinary Hospital" except people that live in the area? NO ONE! I can only imagine a high school student doing a report on the North Branch Veterinary Hospital and vomiting all over the computer screen seeing a man pleasuring another man. Your demographic is not 8 year olds. 8 year olds would be looking at Barney and Dora the explorer, not the rates for castration of their pets, nitwits!
After the letter (to be nice), I replaced their "copyrighted" image with a nice drawing of a dog with a huge boner -----> and also replaced the picture of two men in a consensual relationship with a drawing of a dog with a huge boner raping a man... ------> But that was not enough.
The next day I received notice that someone (namely Lexsynergy or North Branch Veterinary Hospital), wrote me to claim that I was offending people by posting their name next to photos of dead dogs being sold for meat in different countries with the reference that I might trust these people more than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.
This is where it stops.
It has come to light that even the President of the United States was fed dog in his diet growing up.
The pictures I posted were open-source common license photos of dog meat markets all around the world. Guess what bitches? You do not own these pictures, Wikipedia common license owns most! It's from a Wikipedia article dipshits. How dare you attack me for inappropriate pictures for information your kid can get from a Encyclopedia? Fuck the North Branch Veterinary Hospital and fuck you, Lexsynergy : Brand protection services. As a business, sometimes you have to accept the responsibility for ripping someone off. Once in a while you have to take your lumps and learn from it. I'm sorry our user thought your "hospital" and I would use HUGE quotes around that if I could, scalps dog fixes like a used car dealership, but it is not the end user's fault, it is yours!
If you provide bad service, say you're sorry and make it right! Don't hire an offshore agency that promises to fix your reputation... After all, it is a lot easier to maintain a bridge than to build a new one, and this bridge has gone from crumbling to collapsed.
As for Lexsynergy : Brand protection services, here is one of the single most unprofessional letters we have ever received. We hope you didn't pay too much for their services... at least hopefully less than $500, the amount you ripped the user off. Please find exhibit A, the letter with highlights and makups and stickynote posts (in PDF format) so you can see for yourself what you paid for, an unprofessional, ambiguous, and poorly-written demand to my ISP.

Places I would trust my dog with more than North Branch Veterinary Hospital

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 05:45:44 +0000

I would trust this South Korean street vendor more than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.

I would rather leave my dog in this meat vendor's pan in China.

This guy selling on the street in the Philippines is a better alternative than North Branch Veterinary Hospital.

North Branch Veterinary Hospital is less likely to take proper care of my dog than this rabid mut.

This woman in Hanoi probably has more compassion and respect for animals than the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.

Hell, this guy can watch my dog before I would ever trust her care to the folks at the North Branch Veterinary Hospital.

Here is an actual review (not my own) directly from Yelp (the only review on the site).

"I was VERY disappointed with this clinic. I couldn't have been treated worse. I had a Doberman who had retired from the show ring. So he wasn't a young pup anymore. On a Saturday evening I took him for a walk. He was strong. By Sunday morning he was showing signs of hip problems. By the afternoon he was paralyzed from the hips down. I called this "clinic" and was called back by the vet on call. He said it was probably just constipation. He continued to get worse and he was in pain. I called back and the same vet returned my call, he said again it was probably just constipation. He said bring my dog in the next day. Nikko got worse throughout the night until he would scream in pain if you just touched him. He was completely paralyzed except for his left front leg and head. The next day, Monday morning, I called again, I was told to bring him in. I told them he was in excruciating pain. They told me to wrap him in a blanket and carry him in. I got him down there and into the clinic they immediately diagnosed warblers disease. No kidding I had told the "doctor" the night before that it was warblers, he said no it was constipation. They put Nikko down. I knew they would have to. One of the vet techs rolled her eyes and actually said, "it's only a dog." Other vets would have come out to put him down. This clinic is horrible."

Terry Steindel, Terry Steindel, are you serious? Get your ass some Rosetta Stone!

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 09:51:43 +0000

Terry Steindel, are you serious? I don't mean to pick on this guy but check out his latest website. He has the language skills of a 4 year old child immigrant. Dude, if you know you are completely terrible with words and the English language, call ME! I will help you with your proof reading. Oh my God, what a complete idiot. Terry.... Who is advising you? Your sentences are similar to a dog smearing it's ass across the carpet and then licking it up. "YOU, sir... Are un-American!" Click here to look at this idiot's latest website. I've highlighted some mistakes I've found. Can you find more?

Steve Jobs is Dead, there's no App for that.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 06:23:28 +0000

Sorry Steve, there's no App for that.

Applebees drinks suck

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 09:53:51 +0000

Just wanted to give a big shoutout to my local Applebees. Their drinks suck. I sent a salt filled "margarita" back the other day and they told me that I shouldn't have asked for salt. WTF? Everyone enjoys a little salt on the rim of their margarita but I didn't ask for Lot's wife to fall into my glass.
Disgustingly weak and overpriced drinks, and semi-edible food.
"One and a half ounces of Tequila is all we can legally put in a drink... Bullshit...
When they are not busy serving infants Tequila by mistake they are harassing legal drinking-age folks from getting a good drink.
Everything that comes out of your fryer tastes the same.
Every drink that comes out of your bar tastes like piss.
Fuck you Applebees.

Gary Spivey - A Huge Fraud

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 20:27:54 +0000

Gary Spivey - A Huge Fraud

Ok... So maybe the tickets were free.
I don't normally spend my time talking or thinking about psychics or their proclaimed abilities, but last night I saw a guy that really takes home the "Gay Psychic Pissflap Award".
This fucking retarded pickle-kissing ass ramming shithead actually stood there with a straight face and told mothers that had lost their sons and people that were addicted to drugs, that they had evil "drug" or "suicide" spirits in them. "Do you feel your face getting warm, DO YOU FEEL YOUR FACE GETTING WARM? That's the spirits leaving your bodies. Now snap they're gone. Do you feel that? The warmness in your feet? Huh? Now you're better"... "Seriously ass monkey?", I thought to myself. "Seriously?"
Oh but it got better. This Mushroom-haired waterhead gave people advice... Like REAL advice, on things that he should NEVER be giving advice on. Topics like "I have a feeling my x will kill me". Guess what you precocious prick. We have a thing called "Law Enforcement", and we pay for them with our taxes. You actually agreed with her after she said "I feel like my X is going to kill me" with the statement, "Oh yeah he will".
People came to the microphone crying having just lost a loved one to suicide. He "helped" them by talking about chariots and "angels that swore" taking their loved ones to heaven because "he" had helped.
I guess this crook has some kind of 'in' with the big guy upstairs. After all; if there is a God, I am sure he picked a huge white afro wig-wearing, delusional, money-gubbing, potty-mouthed perverted asshole to do his bidding.
It would be one thing if he told people he was an entertainer, and nothing more... If he was even a half-ass good entertainer.
Unbearable. I met a lady in the hallway that stated, "Can you believe how horrible this is?"

A scientific study - Poop by gender - nationality - and profession...

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 07:28:11 +0000

Ok boys and girls... New mission. I want to collect all of the shitty toilet shots from your stool.
We need to collect your people droppings in digital format.
I want to know A) The country you are from B) Your profession, and C) Any special diet you are on and / or if you have a specific diet / intake preference.
Please send all photos to foxisevil@gmail.com and share your shit! Every poop counts. Please "pass on" your photos and we will give you credit.
With nearly 50,000 visitors per month, I think this mostly scientific study will be a "gas" to the medical community!
POOP ON!!!!
TK (Admin)

Congratulation to our first poo-poster! Amanda from NSW, Australia. She mostly eats grains and nuts and spends a lot of her time base jumping!!! Rock on, Amanda, thank you!

12-31-09 2:11 AM CST - Jim, from New Jersey, is a strong, proud, 30 year old pipe layer from New Jersey that enjoys vendor hot dogs and Wendy's... Thanks Jim for the quick response!

Rick Sanchez shocking photos unleashed!

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 04:53:59 +0000

Shocking photos of Rick Sanchez were released Saturday night via the AP. The newly unsurfaced photos show the untouched photos of Sanchez holding a young Elian Gonzalez at gun point.
"I may call people a bigot, and I may accuse the Jews of running CNN, but at least I'm not too much of a Cuban to point a loaded semi-automatic gun at a Cuban's infant's skull", proclaimed Sanchez during a phone interview Sunday morning.
Sanchez, a CNN hero for his bi-lingual reporting and his no nonsense style of journalism continued, "All Jews and Heebs and Whops and niggers should leave me alone. I've done my part for my country, and they should do their part. Take one of your own and point a rifle at it's head. It is so exhilarating."
Sanchez, recently fired from his long standing role as the afternoon anchorman at the internationally syndicated CNN apologized to his wife and kids during this interview.
"I am sorry that bigot Jon Stewart got me fired. I'm sorry all of those Jews had me crucified, just like Christ."
"Who else can cover a Mexican standoff like I can? I can translate instantly to Americans the English version of a hostage standoff. Statistics have shown that I can say 'there I shot her' in less than two seconds after the hostage taker has actually killed the hostage on live TV. Who are they going to replace me with? Cheech Marin?"
Sanchez will be missed.

North Branch Veterinary Clinic , A fair and balanced review.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 07:42:00 +0000

Update 4-17-2012 - Due to a threatening letter (see below), I have been forced to redo the artwork for this post. I think most will find them more tasteful. By the way, these are photos are fully protected by international copyright, so don't try to use them on your site, North Branch Veterinary Clinic!

North Branch Veterinary Hospital

My Dog wasn't feeling well, so I waited over the weekend to schedule an appointment with the local vet... I scheduled early and made a definitive time to bring her in.
She was feeling much better when we arrived but the doctor asked me if it was ok to do an X-ray, blood test, etc...
Of course, I could spend one or two hundred dollars on my old dog...
I checked out of North Branch Veterinary clinic one hour later with a dog who was pretty much the same and a bill for $420!!!!! What the fuck? Nobody ever told me that bringing my dog in for a routine examination would cost half a grand! She is 15 years old and I made it very clear to him that I didn't want to do anything heroic.. How the hell could I drop half a grand on a dog I cared (at the most) $100 about?
They ripped me off... they ran a bunch of tests that were neither asked or approved for. I am sure when they buy their new boats for their cabins they feel really good but $500 is a LOT of money for a 30 minute diagnosis.
To add insult to injury, he gave me an estimate for another $1000 worth of "exploratory surgery".
What a crock and what a bunch of money grubbing-thief assholes.... Don't EVER take your dog here. They will rack up a HUGE bill and will not let you leave until you pay it.
Fuck you North Branch Veterinary. Lick my hairy ass. If I had dealt with you before I wouldn't have been ripped off by your overcharging asshole antics.
Here is an illustration of what it felt like to give these crooks my hard-earned money.

North Branch Veterinary Hospital

Follow up by chiree@northbranchvet.com

"I would like to have the review that was posted on Aug 24th about North Branch Veterinary Hosp. removed from this sight (sic). The post has a very sexually inappropriate picture and is extremely graphic."

Update 4-17-12
Tsk, tsk... Someone doesn't like a bad review...

Since they claim copyright and exclusivity to the picture of the dog with the stethoscope, I did a little searching - and wouldn't you know it, there are a lot of places that are using their copyrighted image!
Here's some :
http://www.arkanimalhospitalinpace.com/
http://www.standalevet.com/
http://www.tustinsantaanaveterinaryhospital.com/
http://www.goldcanyonvet.com/
http://www.petsfirstvet.com/
http://www.coopervet.com/
http://www.eltorovet.com/
and more than 550 more sites... As far as the indecent image... There is a lot worse things than that on the internet. So not only did the North Branch Veterinary Hospital offer me horrible service, now their litigious for negative reviews? Click above to read the complaint... Which is a little hard to take seriously since it seems so unprofessional including various misspellings.

JetBlue's Gay Flight Attendant Steven Slater, hops, skips, and jumps out of his job.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 07:10:45 +0000

Gees, there are so many ways we could have titled this entry.... I guess we did what the first glass of wine told us to do.
In this day in age of tired gay rhetoric an nothing original coming out of the GLBT community, we were happy this week to hear that our gay steward(ess) pulled the most fantastic drama-filled gay prank this week by opening up the emergency door, deploying the raft slide, grabbing two beers, and singing "wheee!" as he left his career and his brothers behind him.
As this story develops, we will certainly keep tabs on what this gay maverick renegade is up to. But for the time being, we here at Please God No would like to say, "FAAAABBBUUULLLOOOOUUUSSSSS!!" Way to go Steve!

My Edge Pro - Does it work or is it a ripoff?

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:49:04 +0000

My Edge Pro - Total ripoff? Simply put, if this ends up on the first page of your local search engine, then yes, it does suck. I am so sick of their stupid commercials claiming they can make your bad reputation good again by burying it with positive information I just had to try. On their website here they claim to "Protect your good name online".
I am always leery of businesses like this. I just wanted to see if I could sully their "reputation". Hi Guys.

Update - After one day - Reputation Defender knocked me off page one of Google. hmmm, maybe they have found a way to game the system.

Wpate 7-8-10 = also again one page one of google. Fifth or Sixth result.... Suck it rip-off scam artists!

Choking game - How to.... A Definitive Guide for all kids.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sun, 23 May 2010 06:59:29 +0000

The choking Game

Hi Kids, have you ever tried the choking game? It is neat and sweeping the nation. All you have to do is take some deep breaths and then cut off your air supply. It is so much FUN and will either thrill you or put you on an autopsy table.
So here's the how to:

1st - Take several deep breaths in and out (10-15 is recommended) and then have a friend strangle you. See picture.
2nd - Enjoy the ride... You will either experience a great euphoria or a horrible but euphoric death... Either way, you win!
3rd - Hide the corpse of the friend you just killed. Find a location at least 2 miles from your house. I know an eighty pound kid is hard to carry to consider making the pieces smaller by using a hacksaw that can easily be obtained from you father or step-father's toolbox. After the corpse has been sliced into pieces, take it as far away from the scene as possible. It is also a good idea to chop your friend up in a remote location. If you need to

borrow

your parents car feel free. Make sure to wrap the body tightly as not to leave forensic evidence behind. If you have a deep lake or an ocean nearby all the better!
4th - Create an alibi, make sure your friends can vouch for you presence during the time of the accident. Come to your friend's house as close to the incident as you can and convince them you were stuck in traffic. DO NOT tell anyone about your choking game mishap.
5th - LIE to police
This second part is for parents if you find your child unconscious. Here is what to do.
If you actually are in love with your little brat follow this diagram. If you don't, pick them up off of the floor and choke them some more, just to make sure they are out of the picture.
If for some unknown reason you wish to resuscitate your child, please your hands (in a fist) into their sternum and pull hard enough to help but not hard enough to crack their ribs shattering rib fragments into their supple lung tissue.
The Choking Game is an institution. One that should be carried on for decades by our children and our children's children's. I hope I have provided enough information to make your next choking game a fun and entertaining experience.

Onkyo Sucks Onkyo Sucks Onkyo Sucks Onkyo Sucks!!!! Why??

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 07:23:31 +0000

Onkyo Sucks Onkyo Sucks

I got a free "Onkyo Sucks Gadget" in the mail with my latest Newegg order for a new home receiver.
It was a "free" Ipod Dock that came with my new receiver.
Guess what, unlike 90% of the other losers in America I don't give a shit about how "cool" something may seem to be and I don't own an Ipod.
So I sold it... And I got a decent price, even if it was lower than the last 20 auctions that it had gone for.. I was stoked for the $70. because it was free!
So I listed it and sold it for $70, and eagerly spent my plunders on useless items such as bills.
Anyway, here is what ensued....

"You recently listed the following listing:

************** - NIB Onkyo UP-A1 Dock for iPod/iPhone sealed

The listing was removed because it violated eBay policy.

The rights owner or an agent authorized to act on behalf of the rights owner, Onkyo USA Corporation, notified eBay that this listing violates intellectual property rights. When eBay receives a report of this type of violation, we remove the listing to comply with the law.

We received a request from VeRO member Onkyo USA Corporation asking us to remove the item for:

- Listing(s) uses unlawful copy of copyrighted image and text.

For more information on why your item was removed, you should:
- Contact the VeRO member directly at Notifications@NetEnforcers.com with your questions or concerns.
- Wait 7 days for the VeRO member to reply to you. Please know that VeRO participants aren?t obligated to reply to your email
- If you don?t receive a response from the VeRO member, please contact eBay by simply replying to this email.

Members are not allowed to use images or text from another member's listings without that member's permission. Doing so may violate copyright laws.

In addition, text and images used on another website may be protected by copyright law. You should not copy and use text and images from another website without first getting permission to use that content. We encourage members to write their own item descriptions and take their own photographs.

If you have any more questions, chat with one of our policy
experts any time from 6:00 AM to 11:00 PM MST. Get started by clicking
the link below."

Ok , This thing's already out of the door, but how uncool? I wrote Onkyo a kind note,

"I don't care because this sold already, but is selling a product you manufactured copyright infringement? Give me a break. What exactly did I do? Did not getting express written permission from Onkyo to list a Onkyo product on Ebay and describe it? What a crock. You've just lost hundreds if not thousands of dollars of future purchases from me. I have owned three of your receivers and will never recommend them to anyone who asks ever again, all because you feel like I violated your rights by selling something you manufactured. Sorry I sold it for less than you do. I didn't want it!
Please tell me exactly what I did? Copyrighted image? NO! Copyrighted text? Give me a break.. did I describe it too accurately?
Shame on you guys. VeRO is a complete joke. I am sure Ebay doesn't even punish you guys for falsely taking down people's posts. I read an article saying it's happened only once http://www.tabberone.com/Trademarks/Vero/vero.shtml
and what's up with this?

"One study claims that up to 30% of VeRO-terminated auctions are bogus or questionable. 5% should be considered to be unconscionable but the eBay lawyers who conducted the VeRO seminar in Las Vegas at eBay Live in 2006 contended that there very few VeRO abuses. They pointedly avoided directly answering questions about how eBay was going to stop these "few abuses" while insisting they did not exist."

Disgusted Client...

Double Down Sandwich full of fat, calories, and deliciousness...

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:44:19 +0000

The new sandwich unveiled by Kentucky Fried Chicken this week was best described as "Fatty", "Caloric", and "Yummy" by several participants this week.
"This is the sandwich to end all sandwiches", stated a 420 lb worker at KFC. "It puts together my 4 favorite ingredients... Fried chicken, cheese, mayo, and bacon"!
I have personally tried this sandwich and I will admit that (while sinfully delicious), this sandwich can not be good for your overall health. This sandwich was very filling and filled with slaughtered animals from every species, but lacked the mild taste of bear and goat.

The other side of Tiger's and Joslyn James' text messaged Conversations.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 05:45:40 +0000

The full back-and-forth of Tiger Woods conversation with porn star Joslyn James were released tonight after a horrific day of Tiger news. The transcript follows...

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Joslyn: Sent: 05:48 PM 07/30/2009:
You mean, the intercourse???

Tiger:Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Joslyn: Sent: 05:55 PM 07/30/2009:
Close enough to touch your penis and bake a casserole!

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Joslyn: Sent: 06:10 PM 07/30/2009:
I am a famous trashy whore, everyone sees me!!!

Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:20 PM 07/30/2009:
I have to get up at 4:20....

Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down

Joslyn: Sent: 07:48 PM 07/30/2009:
Sorry I was knitting and forgot to come down... Sorry... When I knit, I get all distracted...

Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow

Joslyn: Sent: 10:48 PM 07/30/2009:
When the taxi company calls me.. You see, they said, they would call me. Weird huh. They must be busy and junk. Are your nuts still stapled to the wall?

Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes

Joslyn: Sent: 01:22 AM 07/31/2009:
I will come pry them off (again) sigh

Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open

Joslyn: Sent: 01:48 AM 07/31/2009:
Sorry Tiger, Every time we staple your nuts to the headboard of a hotel room, I lose my pliers. It's like; at this point you sho

Joslyn: Sent: 01:48 AM 07/31/2009:
uld carry around your own pliers. Unfasten your own nutsack from the bed!

Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back

Joslyn: Sent: 02:48 AM 07/31/2009:
I unfastened your nuts from the headboard, why do you care, you've had plenty of time to figure it out.

Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Joslyn: Sent: 03:59 PM 07/31/2009:
I can't leave because I am still chained to the bed upstairs. Remember? Wash your stinky ball-stapled ass off. Make sure to wash good.

Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Joslyn: Sent: 04:20 PM 07/31/2009:
I am chained to the bed dumbass!!!

Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

Joslyn: Sent: 04:25 PM 07/31/2009:
Please refer to last txt about being chained to bed.

Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Joslyn: Sent: 05:15 PM 07/31/2009:
I had sex with 5 guys since your last txt.... One of them peed on me. Is that cool?

Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

Joslyn: Sent: 07:15 PM 07/31/2009:
I love stapling your nuts to things a lot!

Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy

Joslyn: Sent: 06:31 AM 08/06/2009:
Are you still jerking off?

Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing

Joslyn: Sent: 06:39 AM 08/06/2009:
With your penis?

Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks

Joslyn: Sent: 06:39 AM 08/09/2009:
Two weeks? When will you be done masturbating??

Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month

Joslyn: Sent: 06:42 AM 08/09/2009:
Will it take you another month to stop playing with yourself???

Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can't talk now. Will text when i can

Joslyn: Sent: 02:42 PM 08/13/2009:
I wish your nuts didn't taste like dirty socks

Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to

Joslyn: Sent: 10:12 AM 08/20/2009:
Not everyone's penis smells like a dirty sock. Trust me...

Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since

Joslyn: Sent: 10:30 AM 08/23/2009:
I just got gang-banged by a midget in a cowboy suit while he was peeing on me...

Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so

Joslyn: Sent: 10:30 AM 08/23/2009:
The midget made me think about you... Totally....

Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me

Joslyn: Sent: 10:55 AM 08/23/2009:
Midgets arent really cheating, because their little bodies have no soul... Just like retards and people with Downs Syndrome.

Joslyn: Sent: 10:00 PM 08/23/2009:
Did you think about what I said earlier today?

Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree

*****MORE TO COME******

Tiger Woods text messages

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 05:45:16 +0000

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Tiger:Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down

Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow

Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes

Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open

Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back

Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy

Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing

Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks

Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month

Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can't talk now. Will text when i can

Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to

Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since

Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so

Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me

Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree

Tiger:Sent: 11:03 PM 08/23/2009:
In conn

Tiger:Sent: 11:07 PM 03/23/2009:
Ditto

Tiger:Sent: 11: 08 PM 08/23/2009:
I like when you do that to me

Tiger:Sent: 11:11 PM 08/23/2009:
Ditto sexy

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/28/2009:
Maybe in two weeks in chicago

Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad

Tiger:Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)

Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard

Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls

Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question

Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Tiger:Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no

Tiger:Sent: 03:52 PM 08/29/2009:
God girl. You better want to take care of me

Tiger:Sent: 03:56 PM 08/29/2009:
You do. Need more of it

Tiger:Sent: 03:59 PM 08/29/2009:
of you

Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten

Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine

Tiger:Sent: 04:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Whatever else turns you on

Tiger:Sent: 04:43 PM 08/29/2009:
You tell me what you like

Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
You are. Always will be. Don't trust people

Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
But you still have not told me what turns you on

Tiger:Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around

Tiger:Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
For years. And punish you for not seeing me more

Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Tiger:Sent: 09:20 AM 09/03/2009:
Was playing sexy

Tiger:Sent: 04:17 AM 09/04/2009:
Maybe you can fly out to chicage on monday night and leave early wed

Tiger:Sent: 04:23 AM 09/04/2009:
I land at 930 or 10 monday night

Tiger:Sent: 11:57 AM 09/04/2009:
Great. What time so you land

Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 09/04/2009:
I land at the earliest at 8 and the latest will be 10

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 09/04/2009:
Midway

Tiger:Sent: 01:42 AM 09/07/2009:
I cant wait to see you as well. What time do you land again

Tiger:Sent: 03:15 AM 09/07/2009:
You are going to be headed to the hyatt lodge. 2815 jorie blvd oak brook, il 60523. Phone 630 990 5800

Tiger:Sent: 11:38 AM 09/07/2009:
Did you get my text with all the info

Tiger:Sent: 11:41 AM 09/07/2009:
I will text you the room number when i get there. Im still in boston

Tiger:Sent: 11:43 AM 09/07/2009:
I have to check in to get the room

Tiger:Sent: 11:44 AM 09/07/2009:
I should get there before you anyways

Tiger:Sent: 12:27 PM 09/07/2009:
In about 3 hours

Tiger:Sent: 12:30 PM 09/07/2009:
I will be there before you for sure

Tiger:Sent: 12:35 PM 09/07/2009:
You just make sure you take care of me when you get here

Tiger:Sent: 06:28 PM 09/07/2009:
Great

Tiger:Sent: 06:30 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat

Tiger:Sent: 06:33 PM 09/07/2009:
I am pretty tired after today. I am going to go to sleep early

Tiger:Sent: 06:53 PM 09/07/2009:
How close are you

Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat

Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple

Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it's a club sandwich

Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/07/2009:
How close

Tiger:Sent: 07:38 PM 09/07/2009:
Head to the elevators and go to 334. Thats your room. The door will be open with the dead bolt. I have to get back here to wait for the food. Im in room 358.

Tiger:Sent: 07:42 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when you are in the room. Food just got here

Tiger:Sent: 07:47 PM 09/07/2009:
Sweet. Dont come down here yet. Lots of people in the hall. I will let you know when it clears

Tiger:Sent: 08:16 PM 09/07/2009:
Are you close to being ready

Tiger:Sent; 08:32 PM 09/07/2009:
Come on down. Its quiet here in the hall now

Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful

Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
Room358

Tiger:Sent: 09:59 PM 09/07/2009:
Make it ok

Tiger:Sent: 10:01 PM 09/07/2009:
Ok. Lights out. Good night sexy

Tiger:Sent: 08:49 AM 09/08/2009:
Hope you slept as good as i did. I just woke up which is un heard of

Tiger:Sent: 10:23 AM 09/08/2009:
So when can i have that ass again

Tiger:Sent: 12:40 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be back in a couple hours

Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight

Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe

Tiger:Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins

Tiger:Sent: 03:40 PM 09/08/2009:
Why dont you come over here now instead

Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 09/08/2009:
Enter thru room 360. Its next door

Tiger:Sent: 03:42 PM 09/08/2009:
Hurry so i come in that ass

Tiger:Sent: 03:54 PM 09/08/2009:
Let me know when you leave your room

Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/08/2009:
You felt amazing to baby. How much was your flight by the way

Tiger:Sent: 07:35 PM 09/08/2009:
Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before i see you tonight

Tiger:Sent: 07:39 PM 09/08/2009:
Parent hood melt down:)

Tiger:Sent: 08:01 PM 09/08/2009:
How much was your flight

Tiger:Sent: 05:03 AM 09/09/2009:
Shit i fell back to sleep. just woke up. I have to leave in about 15 mins. I tee off at 700

Tiger:Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this

Tiger:Sent: 05:44 AM 10/01/2009:
I know that. Thats why i wont do that.

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl

Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously

Tiger:Sent: 11:31 AM 10/04/2009:
This has been a total shit trip. Im sorry i fucked up last night. And this shit. We will get it right next time so we can spend more time together.

Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything

Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck
Taken on: Friday, March 19. 2010
Copyright:

Conan O'Brien's last night on the air filled with deceased twin babies, Will Ferrell, and Jeff Zucker's asshole... Great TV!!!!

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:41:34 +0000

Conan's last night was a noisy and reckless absurdity, reports a lucky insider that was inside Conan's Universal lot watching the last show Conan O'Brien is hosting.
"Conan then took out the Skull of Meat loaf and played it like a French Horn!!!!"
After reports of verified accounts recounting Conan "Fucking an audience member in the ear", and "Peeing on all of NBC's electrical equipment", our sources both verified that Conan calmed down.
"Wow, I expected a little more resistance from (Jeff) Zucker. I didn't even think he'd let me spray frothy urine into his wive's face... Weird..." stated O"Brien.

AdLib vocal spouse fighting official form.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 06:51:10 +0000

Listen (adoring name for spouse), you can (verb) my (self possessive taboo part). I do all of the (laundry) around here, and I will be (criminal assault) with your sister (quantifier of previous "verbal assault") monkey ((dog)) loving your babies for a (adjective) amount of time! Fine, I'll go to (noun), and you can (verb) your self and also other people that live close to us. If I see you (verb) milkman I will (verb) him with all of the terror that belongs in a sacred realm of (place). LOVE YOU!!!!

"Where the Wild Things are" Sucked... Bad

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:32:59 +0000

Where the Wild Things are Sucked.

I just had the unpleasant experience of watching my childhood memories and dreams crushed in an agonizing 90 minute movie root canal of Biblical proportions. The movie theater atmosphere alone was a scene that resembled (what I would imagine) hell would be like. Screaming, crying kids running through the aisles crying and wailing at the pointlessly violent, pointlessly cliche, steaming pile of a movie.
To take a great childhood book that consists of 10 sentences and turn it into this 92 minute monstrosity of a film, with the backdrop of a single mom, a violent "monster" of a kid, and the stomach churning, sexually ambiguous, cgi-animated creatures.
Half the people left the theater before the movie was over. I am not kidding.
This movie sucked. It sucked...bad.

Hilton hotel's garbage cans actually smaller than Pairs Hilton's Vagina.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:16:40 +0000

Hilton garbage cans look like Vaginas

The garbage cans at the Hilton are smaller than an average dwarf's vagina. WTF am I supposed to put in there? I can fit three bottles, I can of pop, and an empty packet of beef jerky. What kind of garbage is that. If Hilton were smart, they would put a 50 gallon trash bag and can in the middle of the room... Because you know we're going to make a mess.
Chairman William Barron Hilton stated in a late Tuesday phone interview, "Our vagina garbage cans our one of our most popular attractions at our Hilton Hotels", "We are committed to garbage cans; while vagina-looking, can also accommodate one liter of garbage."
When pressed about the incredibly small - incredibly vagina-like-looking garbage cans, Hilton stated, "A good vagina shaped Hilton garbage can should be able to handle anything you could throw in it.... $100 bills, coins, and chunks of pure gold."
We here at pleasegodno.com freakishly had a different idea about what to throw in the "vagina" dumpsters"
"I'm going to put trash in it", stated frequent traveler and vagina-shaped garbage enthusiast. It's really about the impossibly small vagina-like shape and size of the garbage can - it's about trying to throw things into it from more than 10 feet away."
"Our Vagina-shaped waste-baskets are not for throwing things away - they are for practicing real-life garbage-throwing into an actual sized human vagina."

----AP

Liberty Helicopter Tours forced to redesign website.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:46:05 +0000

Flying safely for over 20 years!

Liberty Helicopter Tours web developers were called in to take down the "Flying safely for over 20 years" banner from the entrance page of their website, it was reported Saturday.
"This sucks ass", stated webmaster Scott Clemons during a phone interview Saturday afternoon. "I was in bed sleeping this afternoon and all the sudden my phone started ringing. I ignored it but it kept ringing and ringing. I finally answered only to be told that 'Liberty Tours had a crash and I needed to take the banner off of the site'. I asked them if it couldn't wait until Monday as I was sleeping and recovering from a night of partying, but they were crying and shouting at me to come in and take it down."
When asked about the Liberty Tours accident specifically, Scott stated, "Flying safely for over 20 years is one thing, but waking my ass up at noon on a Saturday just because Liberty Tours had a helicopter smash into an airplane killing almost everyone is another thing all together. Talk about micro managing! Boo Hoo, what a bunch of babies."

Danny Hauser - God prescribes Danny Hauser's mom a natural remedy for her selfish stupidity. "Drown yourself."

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Thu, 28 May 2009 03:12:07 +0000

Colleen Hauser, the mother of cancer-riddled 13 year old Daniel Hauser, spoke to God this morning about her choice to rub eucalyptus and tea leaves on her Danny's tumor-filled body in lieu of proven and effective chemotherapy treatment.
"I can't say for sure, but I think God is kinda pissed at me", Mrs. Hauser stated in a phone interview Wednesday morning. "Yeah, I guess bathing him in Olive Oil, force feeding him raw baboon heart, and smearing his own 'leavings' into a cross shapes on his forehead, back, and buttocks didn't work as well as I thought it would. I've never been very good at science-y type of things."
Colleen also admitted that she "(is) a giant, selfish, ignorant, complacent, abusive, insane, reckless, arrogant blubbering butthole."
"When my son is gone", (which will be soon),"I hope he realizes that I only killed him because I loved him. I didn't want all of that modern and proven cancer treatments to taint my stubborn attitude and sheer stupidity."

Corn King Bacon - Horrible, horrible, horrible.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:45:25 +0000

Corn King bacon is shitty.

Corn King Bacon has to be one of the most horrible meat products ever shrink-wrapped, boxed, and stuck in the butcher's cooler.
Corn King bacon is impossibly thin to work with. The meat has chunks of lop-sided fat that's congealed together and not cut properly.
There are a lot of things I don't know much about, but bacon is NOT one of them.
In the above picture please notice the Corn King wallowing in shit. Then notice the Corn King package full of shit. This seems like a better use of the packaging and my hard-earned dollar than buying your bacon.
I hope you die Corn King. You can't even slice open a pig's belly and carve out a decent chunk of fat from it's gut. It's not rocket science.

I've come up with a mouth-watering recipe using a pound of Corn King Bacon you may have accidentally ended up with.

What you'll need:
1 pound Corn King Bacon - (any variety will do)
1/2 cup mayo or salad dressing
1 tsp celery seed
2 tbsp white vinegar
4 - 4 oz pork chops

Directions : Preheat oven to 400 degrees
In a bowl, combine celery seed, vinegar, and salad dressing. Add a dash of pepper if desired.
Mix ingredients thoroughly until there are no lumps.
Pull apart the god-forsaken excuse for bacon (if you can) and pull it's gold leaf-like strips of hog fat onto a paper towel.
In a 14" glass bottom pan - take the chops and wrap them with the impossibly thin strips of "bacon". Use toothpicks to secure the gellatenous substance to the pork chops. Set in pan.
Pour previously mixed mayo mix over prepared chops.
Bake at 400 degrees for 40 minutes or until the bacon completely melts into fat and falls off of the pork chops.
Let cool for 5 - 10 minutes.
Carefully remove from oven, and empty contents of glassware into the garbage.
Now eat the glass bottom pan. - It will be more satisfying.

21 dead horses thank God for something....

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:06:13 +0000

I saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

In her last breath;
"Open Failure", a high-bred horse from Venezuela made a short but important comment about her automobile insurance, stating, "At least I saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico", before she gasped for her last breath on Monday,
"With all of these horses falling over dead, I am so glad that many of them have decided to exit this world in an appropriate manner." Stated Diane Johnson. "They told me lots of things, from the regrets they've had in life to more important things, like how they saved money on their car insurance by switching to Geico."
"I guess it really doesn't matter if these stinky poop-bearing beasts can even drive, I just love the fact that they are bargain shoppers."
Johnson continued, "One of the horses also told me in it's dying breath that it was 'more than excited' to become glue and paste for preschoolers and kindergarteners to eat. Stating , "Eat me , please god, Eat me. You are not the only Skywalker!"
Reached for comment, none of the 21 horses could be reached for comment, as they all were dead.

Pastor Fred Winters enjoying hell a lot more than he thought.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 04:05:24 +0000

Pastor Fred Winters at gay pride Parade.

Recently assassinated Baptist Illinois preacher Fred Winters was relaxing comfortably in hell, it was reported Sunday night.
"Man, look who has cake all over his face", stated Winters in an exclusive interview from the Eastern portion of Hades. "I was wrong all along, these fags are fab-o-licous!"
"All these homos I've personally condemned to eternal pain and suffering for eternity knew something I didn't - that a hell full of gay guys with balloons and floats would be FAB-U-LOUS!!!", Winters exclaimed in a melodic tone.
During the daily Gay Pride March through the Underworld, Winters expressed his disillusionment with the whole situation, stating, "All of these fags and abortionists had it right! They are party animals. I have been living a boring, depressing, and utterly unfulfilling existence. My murder may have seemed like a scene from the Matrix, but this afterlife is totally like a scene from the Gay-trix", Winters giggled while waving at a rainbow colored float full of gay damned male souls partying and having fun on a gay colored rainbow float.
"THIS TOTALLY ROCKS!!!"

Nashville Triathlon Coach - Stephen Taylor - the Best there is.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:16:27 +0000

Stephen Taylor Nashville Triathlon Coach

This blog entry is simply to give Kudos to the best Triathlon Coach in the Nashville. Stephen Taylor is one of the most accomplished triathlon coaches in Tennessee if not the country.
If you are interested in triathlon training in the Nashville area, this is the guy to find. He stopped collecting trophies years ago when they piled up so high that entering his residence was like a gauntlet of large and often pointy sharp trophies littering his living spaces.
If you need a personal training coach for triathlon training or just a personal trainer for getting your cellulite-encrusted posterior back in shape, Stephen Taylor will whip you into shape in no time flat.
For example, here are my before and after pictures while working with the best Triathlon trainer in Nashville, Steve Taylor. To email him Click here
Visit Steve's website by clicking Here.

Before Stephen Taylor triathlon training.

<--------Before

After Stephen Taylor Triathlon training.

<--------After

Planned Parenthood Announces "Abortion Rewards" punch card.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:42:35 +0000

Planned Parenthood Abortion Punch Card

In a surprising move, Planned Parenthood announced it's Christmas "buy five, get one free" abortion campaign this week.
"We hope these cards will encourage young women to get the sexual education and abortions necessary to sustain our mission." Cecile Richards, current president of Planned Parenthood of America stated Tuesday.
"If they get five abortions, they get one free! What a wonderful and rewarding health care system we have in this country!"
"If we were to give a free (fifth) abortion to every black teen in our office looking for sexual counseling, it has been theorized that car stereo, home invasion, and production of more kids would be drastically cut."
With a shrinking federal budget dedicated towards sexual education and with a total complete ignorance of the issues, teen pregnancy and sexual proclivity in the youth population has skyrocketed in recent years.
"We do not feel this incentive 'card' will encourage abortions", continued Richards, "But we feel this card will reward the diligent efforts of abortion-minded (black) teens looking to better our culture and family values."

Michelle DeArmond of the Press Enterprise asked to speak at media conference about media ethics, and journalistic integrity; has trouble writing speech.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:30:12 +0000

Michelle DeArmond having trouble writing about media ethics.

Michelle DeArmond (951-368-9441 or mdearmond@PE.com) of the California based Press Enterprise was asked to give a Symposium on media ethics and journalistic integrity this week in front of an annual gathering of her peers.
"Damn, what does this shit even mean," Michelle was reported as stating during a speech-writing session with coworkers.
"Intig- Integ- ... I just don't get it!"
Michelle was the lead journalist uncovering the horrifying and unconscionable acts of a 31 year old Democrat in Minnesota this week.
"I know what lying to someone means. I know what misleading someone means. I know what using someone for my own egotistical gains and self-delusional self-indulgent and selfish insights means, but what is all this ethics garbage all about?"
"This job is hard. First I have to gain someone's trust, then I have to coddle them, and then I have to shove a mop handle in their ass!"
During the past week, the blogger responsible for the "Obama Bucks" illustration was revealed as Tim Kastelein, a democrat in Minnesota that enjoys satire and quiet evenings at home.
"This was a real story," exclaimed Michelle. "We needed to gather as much information as necessary from him and figure out who this 'Mystery Man' was. I would have drank (Kastelein's) urine sample to get this story. I am glad it turned out the way it did."
As Kastelein's relatives house was raided by the media and while the sacred bond between the news story and the reporter broke down, Ms. DeArmond was reportedly enjoying her attention as the reporter 'Who got the scoop'.
"I'll never finish this speech," stated DeArmond.... "I don't know anything about media ethics or journalistic integrity."

Apologetic Diane Fedele of the "Chaffey Community Republican Women's group", apologizes to all of the "Coloreds" that she may have offended.

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:33:35 +0000

Diane Fedele apologetic to all of the "coloreds" she offended.

In this weeks meeting of the Chaffey Community Republican Women's group, an apologetic Diane Fedele reiterated her sincere regret of the use of the racially-insensitive "Obama Bucks" image in the group's publication.
In the club meeting on Tuesday, attended by both club members and the media, Ms. Fedele defended her apologies as sincere and honest.
"Believe me when I say I am very sorry about this whole misunderstanding. I am sorry if I offended any of those coloreds. I am sure all of these Bootlips will understand that it was a clear misunderstanding of my unfamiliarity of the burr-headed, Double A culture. When it comes right down to it, I can not think of anyone less racist than myself. I am friends with plenty of those Geechee Mandinkas. I promise this will not happen again."
When pressed further about her apparent total lack of understanding of the situation she has found herself in, a flustered Fedele continued, "Listen, I told all of the Shadow-Smurf mud ducks I was sorry! I don't know how else to convince you all I am not racist!"
At press time the California Republican Committee had not responded to our repeated calls for clarification.

Obama Bucks Food Stamp Program Official statement

nospam@example.com (TK (Admin)) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:54:17 +0000

******Update 10-20-08*******

Obama Bucks - Social commentary - Not racial hate

In May I drew this cartoon and posted a satirical article regarding a fake Obama food stamp plan. This article was complete satire and I wanted to let anyone reading this know that this was not a slight on Obama at all. It was a satirical look at some of the Fox News watching right-wingers out there that are afraid of a government that sponsors welfare type programs.
It was intended to poke fun at the unrealistic fears and agenda of racism that a fringe element of Republicans strongly embrace.
Evidently, people that did not take the satirical nature of the article in to account and not exploring other posts on this site forwarded my "Obama Bucks" food stamp image to their racist right wing counterparts.
So now this is a major news story.
Some dumb ass from the right wing group Chaffey Community Republican Women led by a housewife named Diane Fedele, thought it would be a good image to include in their Republican newsletter.
What a complete moron.
Ms. Fedele has stated that she didn't notice the watermelon, ribs, and KFC chicken images in the picture and just thought it looked like food.
This image was created to take to task a minority of Republicans that are racist and paranoid about someone with a different skin color. I was making fun of Republicans, not at all trying to be racist towards Barack Obama.
I appreciate all of the attention, but the people targeted in this news piece are the people I am fighting for! The minorities. The welfare recipients, and the pissed off black chick with hazel colored eyes. This "cartoon" (as described in the media), was meant to empower African Americans to stand up for and defend themselves against racial intolerance. This "cartoon" was prescribed to showcase the racial hatred and intolerance towards the "left" and it's liberal "welfare" economic plan.
Guess what? The radical right picked up this fumble and ran with it right into the opponents goal line.
The fact that a website like this exists is not evidence of racial hatred or divide, but the fact that an image taken from this website was used in a legitimate publication to promote the Conservative agenda must be proof of either existing racism or utter stupidity.

So if you missed any of the International published and televised news stories about this, I am including some links.
Fox News!
Los Angeles Times
Associated Press
Jerusalem Post, Israel
Chicago Sun-Times
Washington Times
Boston Globe
Forbes, NY
San Francisco Chronicle
Press-Enterprise, CA
Click here for a complete news search
So In case you missed it, here is the original satirical story written in May. Click here.