My Dog wasn't feeling well, so I waited over the weekend to schedule an appointment with the local vet... I scheduled early and made a definitive time to bring her in.
She was feeling much better when we arrived but the doctor asked me if it was ok to do an X-ray, blood test, etc...
Of course, I could spend one or two hundred dollars on my old dog...
I checked out of North Branch Veterinary clinic one hour later with a dog who was pretty much the same and a bill for $420!!!!! What the fuck? Nobody ever told me that bringing my dog in for a routine examination would cost half a grand! She is 15 years old and I made it very clear to him that I didn't want to do anything heroic.. How the hell could I drop half a grand on a dog I cared (at the most) $100 about?
They ripped me off... they ran a bunch of tests that were neither asked or approved for. I am sure when they buy their new boats for their cabins they feel really good but $500 is a LOT of money for a 30 minute diagnosis.
To add insult to injury, he gave me an estimate for another $1000 worth of "exploratory surgery".
What a crock and what a bunch of money grubbing-thief assholes.... Don't EVER take your dog here. They will rack up a HUGE bill and will not let you leave until you pay it.
Fuck you North Branch Veterinary. Lick my hairy ass. If I had dealt with you before I wouldn't have been ripped off by your overcharging asshole antics.
Here is an actual picture of me at the cashier during my first visit to this "pooch paradise". Notice the uncomfortable situation they put me in. No mercy, and no lube.

Gees, there are so many ways we could have titled this entry.... I guess we did what the first glass of wine told us to do.
In this day in age of tired gay rhetoric an nothing original coming out of the GLBT community, we were happy this week to hear that our gay steward(ess) pulled the most fantastic drama-filled gay prank this week by opening up the emergency door, deploying the raft slide, grabbing two beers, and singing "wheee!" as he left his career and his brothers behind him.
As this story develops, we will certainly keep tabs on what this gay maverick renegade is up to. But for the time being, we here at Please God No would like to say, "FAAAABBBUUULLLOOOOUUUSSSSS!!" Way to go Steve!

Hi Kids, have you ever tried the choking game? It is neat and sweeping the nation. All you have to do is take some deep breaths and then cut off your air supply. It is so much FUN and will either thrill you or put you on an autopsy table.
So here's the how to:

1st - Take several deep breaths in and out (10-15 is recommended) and then have a friend strangle you. See picture.
2nd - Enjoy the ride... You will either experience a great euphoria or a horrible but euphoric death... Either way, you win!
3rd - Hide the corpse of the friend you just killed. Find a location at least 2 miles from your house. I know an eighty pound kid is hard to carry to consider making the pieces smaller by using a hacksaw that can easily be obtained from you father or step-father's toolbox. After the corpse has been sliced into pieces, take it as far away from the scene as possible. It is also a good idea to chop your friend up in a remote location. If you need to

borrow

your parents car feel free. Make sure to wrap the body tightly as not to leave forensic evidence behind. If you have a deep lake or an ocean nearby all the better!
4th - Create an alibi, make sure your friends can vouch for you presence during the time of the accident. Come to your friend's house as close to the incident as you can and convince them you were stuck in traffic. DO NOT tell anyone about your choking game mishap.
5th - LIE to police
This second part is for parents if you find your child unconscious. Here is what to do.
If you actually are in love with your little brat follow this diagram. If you don't, pick them up off of the floor and choke them some more, just to make sure they are out of the picture.
If for some unknown reason you wish to resuscitate your child, please your hands (in a fist) into their sternum and pull hard enough to help but not hard enough to crack their ribs shattering rib fragments into their supple lung tissue.
The Choking Game is an institution. One that should be carried on for decades by our children and our children's children's. I hope I have provided enough information to make your next choking game a fun and entertaining experience.

My Edge Pro - Total ripoff? Simply put, if this ends up on the first page of your local search engine, then yes, it does suck. I am so sick of their stupid commercials claiming they can make your bad reputation good again by burying it with positive information I just had to try. On their website here they claim to "Protect your good name online".
I am always leery of businesses like this. I just wanted to see if I could sully their "reputation". Hi Guys.

Update - After one day - Reputation Defender knocked me off page one of Google. hmmm, maybe they have found a way to game the system.

Wpate 7-8-10 = also again one page one of google. Fifth or Sixth result.... Suck it rip-off scam artists!

I got a free "Onkyo Sucks Gadget" in the mail with my latest Newegg order for a new home receiver.
It was a "free" Ipod Dock that came with my new receiver.
Guess what, unlike 90% of the other losers in America I don't give a shit about how "cool" something may seem to be and I don't own an Ipod.
So I sold it... And I got a decent price, even if it was lower than the last 20 auctions that it had gone for.. I was stoked for the $70. because it was free!
So I listed it and sold it for $70, and eagerly spent my plunders on useless items such as bills.
Anyway, here is what ensued....

"You recently listed the following listing:

************** - NIB Onkyo UP-A1 Dock for iPod/iPhone sealed


The listing was removed because it violated eBay policy.


The rights owner or an agent authorized to act on behalf of the rights owner, Onkyo USA Corporation, notified eBay that this listing violates intellectual property rights. When eBay receives a report of this type of violation, we remove the listing to comply with the law.





We received a request from VeRO member Onkyo USA Corporation asking us to remove the item for:

- Listing(s) uses unlawful copy of copyrighted image and text.

For more information on why your item was removed, you should:
- Contact the VeRO member directly at Notifications@NetEnforcers.com with your questions or concerns.
- Wait 7 days for the VeRO member to reply to you. Please know that VeRO participants aren?t obligated to reply to your email
- If you don?t receive a response from the VeRO member, please contact eBay by simply replying to this email.

Members are not allowed to use images or text from another member's listings without that member's permission. Doing so may violate copyright laws.

In addition, text and images used on another website may be protected by copyright law. You should not copy and use text and images from another website without first getting permission to use that content. We encourage members to write their own item descriptions and take their own photographs.

If you have any more questions, chat with one of our policy
experts any time from 6:00 AM to 11:00 PM MST. Get started by clicking
the link below."

Ok , This thing's already out of the door, but how uncool? I wrote Onkyo a kind note,


"I don't care because this sold already, but is selling a product you manufactured copyright infringement? Give me a break. What exactly did I do? Did not getting express written permission from Onkyo to list a Onkyo product on Ebay and describe it? What a crock. You've just lost hundreds if not thousands of dollars of future purchases from me. I have owned three of your receivers and will never recommend them to anyone who asks ever again, all because you feel like I violated your rights by selling something you manufactured. Sorry I sold it for less than you do. I didn't want it!
Please tell me exactly what I did? Copyrighted image? NO! Copyrighted text? Give me a break.. did I describe it too accurately?
Shame on you guys. VeRO is a complete joke. I am sure Ebay doesn't even punish you guys for falsely taking down people's posts. I read an article saying it's happened only once http://www.tabberone.com/Trademarks/Vero/vero.shtml
and what's up with this?

"One study claims that up to 30% of VeRO-terminated auctions are bogus or questionable. 5% should be considered to be unconscionable but the eBay lawyers who conducted the VeRO seminar in Las Vegas at eBay Live in 2006 contended that there very few VeRO abuses. They pointedly avoided directly answering questions about how eBay was going to stop these "few abuses" while insisting they did not exist."

Disgusted Client...

The new sandwich unveiled by Kentucky Fried Chicken this week was best described as "Fatty", "Caloric", and "Yummy" by several participants this week.
"This is the sandwich to end all sandwiches", stated a 420 lb worker at KFC. "It puts together my 4 favorite ingredients... Fried chicken, cheese, mayo, and bacon"!
I have personally tried this sandwich and I will admit that (while sinfully delicious), this sandwich can not be good for your overall health. This sandwich was very filling and filled with slaughtered animals from every species, but lacked the mild taste of bear and goat.