Jerry Falwell stunned to find self in hell.
Jerry Falwell "stunned" to find himself in hell, it was reported Tuesday."I thought I spent my life hating all the right people," Falwell stated. "The pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays ,and lesbians... You know, all the people in this country that drove away God from keeping 9/11 from happening."
When asked about future plans for his eternity in hell spent nashing his teeth while choking back sulfuric maggots, Falwell stated, "I guess I'll probably start exercising more, and maybe spend more time with family and friends."
"I know it might seem bad now... Spending an eternal existence in hell having multiple partner's penises in and out of every hole in my body," joked Falwell, "But when Pat Robertson gets here it will seem just like another average Saturday night."
